{"id":109655,"date":"2025-07-21T11:32:53","date_gmt":"2025-07-21T18:32:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/?p=109655"},"modified":"2025-07-21T11:33:00","modified_gmt":"2025-07-21T18:33:00","slug":"happy-birthday-francine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/happy-birthday-francine\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Birthday, Francine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

T<\/span>oday would have been Francine’s 63rd birthday. Last year, when she turned 62, having been born in 1962, she proclaimed that it was going to be her year. She called it her “golden year”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe it was. This is the year that she was swept up in the arms of Jesus. I have no doubt that she is in a place of joy and peace and light.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as for me, everything is loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Last Thursday, I took the commuter train into Seattle with my sister Melanie and the niecelette Stella, me for work and them for a touristy day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the train, I was washed in the sad memories of days long gone, when Francine and I first met on this train. She knitted while our train chess club played. I hope that someday these will again be happy memories, but for now, all I feel is loss.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can feel the sadness welling up within me whenever I visit a place we visited together, places where we made memories. I can see her in all the places we’ve been.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the same time, I’m sad for all the adventures we’ll never have. The places we will never visit together. We had planned Paris (finally!) and the Voie de V\u00e9zelay<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Everything is loss. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I no longer know how to celebrate her birthday. Typically, on the weekend closest we would spend a few days in a cabin on Vashon Island. We haven’t done that since the plague year, but we had planned to return this year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On her actual birthday, we would have dinner in a restaurant of her choosing. Often, this would be a place we’d never been before. Over the years, we’ve had the opportunity to explore many cool and interesting restaurants – and a few turkeys.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two years ago, we celebrated her birthday in what was then the only tapas place in Tacoma, Amor. We absolutely loved this place and went back a couple of times afterwards. Sadly, they closed their doors earlier this year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I used one of the photos I took of her that day on the cover of the worship aid for her funeral Mass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Possibly Francine’s most memorable birthday celebration<\/a> was for her 50th. We threw her a surprise party seven weeks early and in another State. Needless to say, she was surprised!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friends from all over the country came. Some of them I did not see in person again until they visited Francine during her final illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So what am I going to do today?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I took the day off work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This morning, I went to Calvary Cemetery to visit Francine. My original plan was to walk down the hill and catch a bus downtown, but when Callie texted me this morning asking for the cemetery address, I knew she was heading there today as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I caught a ride from her and Jon. I very much appreciate it, as it definitely cut my travel time quite a bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spent some time at the graveside and wept. I wished Francine a happy birthday. And then I came home to Pistachio House, which is still filled with her spirit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
photo by Callie Starks<\/mark><\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

This afternoon, I will spend a holy hour in adoration at my parish church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This evening, I’m getting together for dinner with two very old friends. We are going to a place that Francine had never been.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And starting tomorrow, I will get back to hiking. This is for three reasons: I miss it, it’s good to get back into a routine, and because Francine would insist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Happy birthday, my beautiful bride. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today would have been Francine’s 63rd birthday. Last year, when she turned 62, having been born in 1962, she proclaimed that it was going to be her year. She called it her “golden year”. Maybe it was. This is the year that she was swept up in the arms of Jesus. I have no doubt that she is in a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":109661,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[8,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-109655","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-francine-my-love","category-moments-in-time"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/36475810_10155614137330382_2866939563987697664_n.jpg?fit=1080%2C1076&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1aGBK-swD","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":90112,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/training-video\/","url_meta":{"origin":109655,"position":0},"title":"Training Video","author":"Thom","date":"01 October 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"We thought we\u2019d try something new. This is a (rather disjointed) attempt to put together a video about how we train for the Camino. I blather, Francine makes funny faces, and we walk. And eat second breakfast. Our Training plan for 2016.(Originally posted to Pilgrims on the Way.)","rel":"","context":"In "Camino"","block_context":{"text":"Camino","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/category\/camino\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/DQ626qYgi6U\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":90009,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/galicia-in-the-autumn\/","url_meta":{"origin":109655,"position":1},"title":"Galicia in the Autumn","author":"Thom","date":"17 August 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"After walking the Camino Franc\u00e9s in 2013 from Roncesvalles and in 2016 from St Jean, Francine and I were busy planning our next Spanish adventure for 2020. The plan was that I would walk the Franc\u00e9s from St Jean (or possibly Lourdes), while she took a flat in Burgos to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Camino"","block_context":{"text":"Camino","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/category\/camino\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/guidebooks2018.jpg?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/guidebooks2018.jpg?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/guidebooks2018.jpg?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/guidebooks2018.jpg?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/guidebooks2018.jpg?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":90986,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/three-may-seconds\/","url_meta":{"origin":109655,"position":2},"title":"Three May Seconds","author":"Thom","date":"02 May 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"the second looms large in my life. On this day in 2013, Francine and I walked into Santiago de Compostela for the first time, at the end of our first Camino. At this point, Francine had been walking for almost two weeks, and me for more than a month. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Camino"","block_context":{"text":"Camino","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/category\/camino\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_0380.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_0380.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_0380.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_0380.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_0380.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":46196,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/training-regimen\/","url_meta":{"origin":109655,"position":3},"title":"Training Regimen","author":"Thom","date":"20 February 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Now that we are well and truly in Lent, our serious training has begun. Prior to the beginning of February, Francine and I were hiking the weekends and I was walking about two miles a day during my commute. Now we\u2019ve got a slightly more intensive plan. I\u2019m well aware\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Camino"","block_context":{"text":"Camino","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/category\/camino\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Francine at Snake Lake","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/camino\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Francine-at-Snake-Lake-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":107322,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/settling-into-our-new-parish-home\/","url_meta":{"origin":109655,"position":4},"title":"Settling into Our New Parish Home","author":"Thom","date":"05 December 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"six months ago, we became parishioners again at Saint Patrick parish in Tacoma, coming home to the place where I was baptized and confirmed, and where Francine and I were married. We came to this point after long discernment, some of which occurred on our most recent Camino. It's wonderful\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Catechism"","block_context":{"text":"Catechism","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/category\/catechism\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/2022-12-01-09.41.33-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/2022-12-01-09.41.33-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/2022-12-01-09.41.33-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/2022-12-01-09.41.33-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/2022-12-01-09.41.33-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":109598,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/francine\/","url_meta":{"origin":109655,"position":5},"title":"Francine: Where We are Now","author":"Thom","date":"16 May 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"beautiful bride of 17 years was taken to the emergency room at midnight of Easter Sunday. She was physically weak and having trouble with her memory. At Tacoma General Hospital, they ran every test you could imagine. They even sent a sample of her spinal fluid to the Mayo Clinic.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Francine my love"","block_context":{"text":"Francine my love","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/category\/francine-my-love\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/francine.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/francine.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/francine.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/francine.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/francine.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109655","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=109655"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109655\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":109663,"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109655\/revisions\/109663"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/109661"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=109655"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=109655"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=109655"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}