{"id":109670,"date":"2025-08-01T09:59:46","date_gmt":"2025-08-01T16:59:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/?p=109670"},"modified":"2025-08-01T10:07:44","modified_gmt":"2025-08-01T17:07:44","slug":"the-twentieth-spoon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/the-twentieth-spoon\/","title":{"rendered":"The Twentieth Spoon"},"content":{"rendered":"
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T<\/span>he first time I ever went to Francine’s apartment, more than twenty years ago now, I noticed a tea towel hanging in her kitchen. It illustrated the various types of Welsh love spoons. It still hangs in the kitchen of Pistachio House.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you’re not familiar \u2013 as I certainly was not \u2013 there is an old custom in Wales to give carved wooden spoons to the one you love. They can be quite intricate, and all of the design elements have symbolic meanings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though she was not in the slightest bit Welsh, Francine found this old custom quite charming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I proposed marriage to her, I first presented her with a Welsh love spoon as a gift to distract her. It worked, as she was squealing over the spoon, I went down on one knee and took out a ring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That spoon actually has two spoon parts carved in it, representing two becoming one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On our wedding night, I presented her with a second spoon. This one was quite simple, but a little twisty, which kind of represents the two of us together.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Every wedding anniversary thereafter, I gave Francine the gift of a new Welsh love spoon, most recently this January. This was the spoon that celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Francine passed to the Lord, these 19 spoons decorated one wall and part of another in the dining room of Pistachio House.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

In terms of decorative elements \u2013 not to mention memory and emotion \u2013 they form the core of the most hobbity room in our hobbity house. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But after the funeral, I felt like the story was not complete.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

So I purchased one final spoon for my beautiful bride. It arrived last week, and I hung it on the wall this past weekend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This twentieth spoon features two hearts intertwined into one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To me, this doesn’t really feel like the end of the story, but it does close out the earthly chapter of our life together. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get quite emotional seeing it hanging there. And while right now those emotions are sorrow and loss, I hope someday they will be happy reminders of a life lived well in joy and adventure.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The first time I ever went to Francine’s apartment, more than twenty years ago now, I noticed a tea towel hanging in her kitchen. It illustrated the various types of Welsh love spoons. It still hangs in the kitchen of Pistachio House. If you’re not familiar \u2013 as I certainly was not \u2013 there is an old custom in Wales […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":109678,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[8,3,45],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-109670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-francine-my-love","category-moments-in-time","category-pistachio-house"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/IMG_9477-copy-scaled.jpg?fit=1920%2C2560&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1aGBK-swS","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":90610,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/thirteen-spoons\/","url_meta":{"origin":109670,"position":0},"title":"Thirteen Spoons","author":"Thom","date":"25 January 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Today is both the Feast of the Conversion of Saint Paul and the eleventh anniversary of the day I wed my beautiful bride. It is, as I have said before, a \"moment when everything changed, celebrated on a day when everything changed\". It's important to mark those changes. 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It is, as I have said before, a \"moment when everything changed, celebrated on a day when everything changed\". Francine and I have a funny tradition. When\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Francine my love"","block_context":{"text":"Francine my love","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/category\/francine-my-love\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/2016-01-24-15.54.57.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/2016-01-24-15.54.57.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/2016-01-24-15.54.57.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/2016-01-24-15.54.57.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":87514,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/reason-438-why-i-love-my-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":109670,"position":2},"title":"Reason 438 why I Love my Wife","author":"Thom","date":"01 August 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"in both the Extraordinary Form and the Benedictine Ordo is the Memorial of the Seven Holy Maccabees. Their story may be found in the Bible - provided you've got a Catholic or an Orthodox one. Martin Luther removed these books from his Bible - so if you don't know their\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Francine my love"","block_context":{"text":"Francine my love","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/category\/francine-my-love\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Thom-and-Francine-parish-bbq-2016.jpg?fit=582%2C582&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Thom-and-Francine-parish-bbq-2016.jpg?fit=582%2C582&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Thom-and-Francine-parish-bbq-2016.jpg?fit=582%2C582&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2857,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/pistachio-house\/","url_meta":{"origin":109670,"position":3},"title":"A Sunday at Pistachio House","author":"Thom","date":"22 April 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"So. My wife and I live in an urban neighbourhood known as Hilltop, or \"The Hill\" as I prefer to call it. The Hill is one of the oldest and grittiest neighbourhoods in the city of Tacoma Washington, a place that sometimes calls itself \"Grit City\". So that's a whole\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Francine my love"","block_context":{"text":"Francine my love","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/category\/francine-my-love\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/thom-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":86127,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/a-feast-on-the-feast\/","url_meta":{"origin":109670,"position":4},"title":"A Feast on the Feast","author":"Thom","date":"23 November 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Yesterday, on the great feast of Christ the King, we held our annual feast of thanksgiving at Pistachio House. We had a houseful of guests for dinner, including family and friends. We ate good food, drank good vino tinto (or beer, tonic, cider, water, coffee, or tea as the occasion\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "community"","block_context":{"text":"community","link":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/category\/community\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Christ the King","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Christ-the-King.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Christ-the-King.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Christ-the-King.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":84546,"url":"https:\/\/www.thomryng.com\/amateurmonk\/hyde\/","url_meta":{"origin":109670,"position":5},"title":"Hyde","author":"Thom","date":"09 December 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Nothing says love like digging a grave in the middle of the night in a rainstorm. 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