A Different Assumption

Today is one of the great solemnities of the Church year: the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Last year on this date, my beautiful bride Francine and I celebrated our twentieth Catholic anniversary. For that anniversary, I wrote an article called “How the Assumption Saved my Life“, which delved into the history and meaning of this date for Francine and me.

Why “Catholic anniversary”? On the 15th of August 2004, Francine and I walked into Saint Patrick’s Church in Tacoma for the first time. On that day, I discovered in a flash that every doubt I ever had about the truth of Christianity had collapsed. It was a profound moment of conversion for both of us.

I ended last year’s article with the question, “I wonder what adventures the next twenty years will bring?”

On this 21st anniversary, I am much less upbeat. In fact, I’m an emotional wreck, and these past few weeks I sometimes find myself randomly walking into a room in Pistachio House and saying, “Why?” or even “No”.

No. It isn’t happening. It didn’t happen. The world is sane and normal. Not this.

But it’s just a moment of defiance against the crushing of reality. As though my denial of the fact would somehow make it not a fact.

It comes suddenly at random moments, and it only stays a moment before evaporating.

And then I am just sad again.

I need to remind myself that it is only August. Of course I am still in a tailspin.

She went into hospital in April. She was diagnosed in May. She died in June. We buried her in July.

And this is only August.

And this is another anniversary we share that we can no longer celebrate together. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us.