Today is the birthday of Jolly Blackburn, the principal creator of Hackmaster.
Accordingly, at today’s session we will raise a glass to his name and accord him the honour of a 21-die salute.
Wells I longed for a spit of my own tyme afer that crabgizzard dryad and more an more spyders bitin for shure.
I aimed to follow the hill path and explore a bit whilst the others rested up. Take a few deep breaths, mayhap hunt or climb a hillside I scouted last tyme we runt up to the claim.
All the fine stammels of the party wouldn’t hear to let me go without their feminine company, and I could not find heart to deter them. So off we went together.
And lo! We found a cave entrance, and our own virago got et up when the entrance closed its mouth. Our salver and me, we poked at the thing until it lost an eye and gave out. Whereupon Sondra cralled out, afore Nin cut the beast and dyved in for gold. A practical doxy, what knows the lengths of lootin. She took the eye and some bone and gooey-bits as well.
I’m not sure I’m good to the idea of boxin up pieces and bits of kill, but Nin tells that it’s good as loot, so I say to let the ewe be happy with her guts and bone.
Behind the creacher was a mine, where Nin looted a spear of spiralliness that propped up a miner corps, rather flash for mine loot.
Behind the mine whart a buryin-place filled with walkin dead. Now, sees, tis necessary I wit that those of feminyne adventurin notions be given due course in battle, for their own thought of self. No soft dimber-mort is of help in the field — they scream off from a dire squirrel and needs constant rescuin. I was vacationing anyways, sos I stepped to and let Nin booga the skelletons away with her symbol.
I even let the fine stammels lead the group, even tho they felled to a spike-pit.And when the Governor, Truth, and Anger rose up from stone, I gave the final kills to Sondra.
But Truth and Anger wher somethin else. 7-foot high, nare skinbare frigates with — hm. I kint wit what they were weildin, weapon-wise. I ne’er met a dell what was taller then me, and had everythin to distract. I played off battle once our gimcracks had upper hand, then was fine to watch the ewes duke it out to final. Aye yes.
Then, a short swim, and up through a grate with me girls to layabout in the sunny cliftop with King Dumbarton, new gold in my pouch and a fine dinner to come.
A good respit from spyders and rain.
15 May 2010 / 07 Jevar’Kiev 174
Doreen (NPC torchbearer) – Halfling Fighter / 1
Fletch (Mel) – Human Fighter / 2
Nyneva Parsay (Francine) – Half-Elf Cleric of Benyar / 2
Sondra (NPC) – Human Fighter / 2
Fletch, Nyneva, and Sondra struck out on their own (with the ever redoubtable Doreen) to check out the road untraveled – the other fork from the ogre cave. They found another abandoned mine, though this one delivered quite a bite.
And then there was the bit where the miners had broken into the tomb of an ancient imperial official. That went well.
Fletch – 1193
Nyneva – 1191
Sondra – 1083
May all your hits be crits!
by Nyneva
Nyneva looked down at her goo soaked hands, she was reeling little from the rush of excitement. Staring into the eyes of a giant spyder, one might think a maiden fair would grown weak in the knees. But for Nyneva it was the thrill of having outwitted the crawlies. Barely.
Scratching out her notes on her paper, she was barely able to contain herself.
“Dryad, a disgustingly beautiful and evil minx has captured the brave Rolando and while he may think he has the better end of it, he will end up, as we have seen with the poor half brained sod, Garlick or Garnick. I can never remember. We found this out by means of a beermaid at the inn who wondered why we had not been sitting with our friend who had come in upon our horse. This of course, brought Kailan about. He cares more for his horse and his own hide. Spare the rod and spoil the child…
As we finally discovered the man who had Kailan’s horse rode to the Keep while it was still in its infancy. But he had been swayed by a dryad and only let go for new and lovelier ground to plow in our brave Rolando.”
Nyneva nibbled a little on the end of her stylus trying to assuage her fury at the creature.
“We went to the place from which Garnick had come and when we had finally brought the Dryad from her tree, she bewitched our Rue and Fletch. Doreen proved herself worthy with the bow and a righteous female when she shot her betrothed in the rear for his duplicity. In the meantime, Fletch was taken into the Dryad’s domain and when she returned for Rue, I was ready with a bloody badger in hand to slap her full of muddy entrails. She retreated back and dumped Fletch at our feet. We women will never reveal to Fletch why he was rejected by the Dryad. He may get a notion to return as he’s none to bright in that respect.
After smacking trees a bit, we discovered which one Rolando is trapped in. When we find the right wizard, we will have him released. Right now, we have to kill a giant spider who lives in the forest. Who tried to sneak up on me. Who tried to cow me. Who we set on fire. Who ran away.”
Smiling down at the writing, Nyneva closed her eyes and said a prayer.
Oh great and wonderful, mighty and magnificent Benyar! For your glory, we will kill that nasty bug. Send me the wisdom, strength and a bit of luck and it will be done!
Now this is nyce… nyce. All dark and afloatin in my wherewithall, waitin for what would prove a mystical swive from a gyrel-dryad. She’d run the pick of the party an singled upon meself. Must ha’been the dove-colered har the wizred scollar fixed me with. Rue was gone to join us, and thed were alright then, but now I’m plumb chiggered to have her to meself. Even Rol is nowheres here.
An me mother had wished me a tailer! Sommat about idle hands an minds, she witt that a rum-dandy chet as I what would run to trouble lackin a trade in the land. She was ne’er well about my plan for adventurin, noeser. Didn’t fly a fig oer my fell chets what I gathered with neither.
But tailers own sqinted eyes and hands rough of lye, not steel. They tend to bloat and carry more than their fair of chins. I and Bart apprentist with Hardy and even the beatins bort me over. And to lookit his mate… runnt me all ashivver. Not a life worth lustin, no for me. Twas alrite for sommone as Bartimer, wer kikkt by pa’s mule an tid must of made him all flaccid for livin. Not that he’s a looker like meself. Tailerins the best that leather-head could scope. An now I got upped with the hair, ha Bart, ye old drought. To think he’s gruntin oer stacks of fartin linens, whilst I float in wait for dryad.
Whats that keepin’ her? Quicker in, quicker done, I say.
See, I am man, haulin man-needs. I had must to step from my pure-froe sisters and mother to smith a nib from nocky greenhead. Adventurins not for ale and maydens, naeser. I aim to own, more than there run for lolpoop gils sewin corsets for copper. But yae, ale and poachin for maydens do dull the copper tingue of blood, keeps off relivin the wounds and death as we retrace same steps to same battle what wears and picks us off one-by-one.
We wit adventurins a gamble what the livin side slings rich until the livin dyes. And when I reap heads noff to gain a load of piece tall as Granfa’s pate, I’ll settle account, get prinked fit to sit court, parcel my own, and adventure no more for blood but for a fine-rigged frigot to drape in electrum and bear my legacy.
An Bartimer will never hold no more foul of me, none he dare. I’ll be scarred, levelt, strong. Each day burns me briter, each play guiding me to standing. No one ever wilt dismiss ‘ol Fletch another. None to dare it.
Ah, she’s back.
Show me, fayre one. Teach ‘ol Fletch yor magic.
08 May 2010 / 05 – 06 Jevar’Kiev 174
Æruestan “Rue” Beleg (Sam – as NPC for session 10) – Sylvan Elf Fighter / 2
Doreen (NPC torchbearer) – Halfling Fighter / 1
Dumbarton Oaks (Chris) – Pixie-Fairy Magic-User / 2
Fletch (Mel) – Human Fighter / 2
Kailan Morgause (Victoria) – Half-Elf “Art connoisseur” / 2
Nyneva Parsay (Francine) – Half-Elf Cleric of Benyar / 2
Sondra (Julia – as NPC) – Human Fighter / 2
(please vote!)
Turns out a fellow named Garnick rode into Frandor Keep mounted on Kailan’s horse. He swears he doesn’t know what happened to Rolando, and could you please tell me what year it is? Further attempts to track down Rolando ended in a brief to-do with an innocent Dryad.
Then, back into the forest and back into the spiders. The group met up with the mother of all spiders, persuading her to withdraw by means of oil and fire.
Dumbarton Oaks – 841
Fletch – 941
Kailan – 791
Nyneva – 945
Rue – 791
Sondra – 716
May all your hits be crits!
Once again I take the stylus to paper as my masters have bade me do, to gain wisdom and experience from these musings.
The day started out quite well, actually. After Graytar gave us our mission and paid for our training we went shopping. That’s when things got very interesting. We can never seem to just “go shopping” with this band of brothers. No, this time there was the challenge of stringing a bow. Doaks made mention of a strange Fairy notion called “Seinfelding” which is what we ended up doing… a lot for nothing.
For a group of people trying to keep on the down low, we’re not doing such a terrific job. Still, our honor is getting stronger. It’s a good thing Rue couldn’t string that bow, we might have had to leave town for being so well known? HAH! Yes, he couldn’t string the bow. He tried, really. We lost some money on the day, but at least we didn’t lose too much. AND… we sold a LOT of rat on a stick. We sold something like 300 rats. Kailen is pretty darn good with the frypot. I think I heard him whistling while he was working. Yes, Kailen was actually working and liking it.
Adding to that a little trick from Doaks that made our first customer GUSH over the food, we could barely keep up with the Rat on a Stick demand. That’s unfathomable. Next time we’re charging more! That was way too much work for so very little return. Plus, we ended up losing money on the bet and having to get Rue out of jail.
I can’t get the smell of fried rat out of my nose, still. I swear I will not eat another rat for a long time to come. They were getting a little squishy there at the end. Blech. It’s a good thing we stopped. We might have poisoned someone.
Speaking of poison…
Another death.
This time, we cannot resurrect.
We were barely able to walk, some of us, so stung and poisoned by the spyders that dropped from the canopy of the forest above. We, stupid few, nay, unwise, went forth into a forest knowing of the danger of the hairy spikey leggéd things and what did we forget? In all of our shopping? What? Spider poison antidote.
Rats distracted us…made us giddy with the exitement and made us foolish. Now, because of our stupidity, have lost our Liam. Talented bowman, sweet caring Liam with a talent for finding the wrong thing to say–gone. Though he did not claim Benyar for his God–I was soooo close–I beg Benyar to find within this tiny gnome, a heart that was strong with courage to be worthy of the friendship of a Benyarite.
Face down in a cold stream Liam, blue faced and choking having been bitten in the neck… the NECK… by this dispicable creature, died while we were fighting for our lives. Owing to the poisoning, we yelled forth from the woods to the double-axed, mighty warrior, Rolando. Our friend took off to the town in order to get some antidote. Rolando, our wisest compatriot, took off alright. No, I cannot think he has abandoned us. Maybe captured? But why?
I worry. He is a follower of Benyar, a true and trusted friend, he would not leave us. I fear he has been subdued or killed somehow for Nick, the horse. Still, it must have been a mighty band because Rolando is truly a fierce warrior.
Benyar be with him. Benyar preserve him. Benyar be his guide. Let the crows of Happenstance and Mishap fall upon whomever has taken our Rolando. Dogs!
Because of Liam’s death, I am even more resolved to do more within our party to learn better methods of healing. I have now the ability to hold one more small spell. I must pray harder. Fight harder. Work harder. I must get to the next level of learning so that I may heal my friends faster.
Speaking of powerful, Doaks has learned a new and useful spell. While I do not understand his magical ways, the rose petals are a nice touch. Shhhh… he says and everyone of our enemies hit the ground — out cold. Unfortunately for me, while I was finishing the job on one of the downed spiders, I was bitten and so was afflicted. Note to self, do not ask for free healing from Graytar, you end up looking stupid. My eyes scare me…Thankfully, it will wear off. Magical healing hocus pocus is no match for good old fashioned Benyarite clean heals. I can’t complain, at least I don’t have the white hair.
17 April, 01 May 2010 / 02 – 04 Jevar’Kiev 174
Æruestan “Rue” Beleg (Sam – as NPC for session 10) – Sylvan Elf Fighter / 2
Doreen (NPC torchbearer) – Halfling Fighter / 1
Dumbarton Oaks (Chris) – Pixie-Fairy Magic-User / 2
Fletch (Mel) – Human Fighter / 2
Kailan Morgause (Victoria) – Half-Elf “Art connoisseur” / 2
Liam Fishfinge-r (Adam – as NPC) – Gnome Thief / 2 (died)
Nyneva Parsay (Francine) – Half-Elf Cleric of Benyar / 2
Rolando (Paul – as NPC) – Human Fighter / 2 (vanished)
Sondra (Julia – as NPC) – Human Fighter / 2
Kailan (9) / Dumbarton Oaks (10)
Having the better part of a day to kill in Frandor’s Keep, Rue attempted to string and shoot the impossible bow. The story of his failure, and of the coppers made by some in the party selling “Rat on a Stick” should be left of others. (Fletch? Nyneva? Kailan??)
The next day, the party set out for the forest for to find a missing gem. What they found, however, was a nest of giant spiders with poisonous bites and mad-quick moves.
While several party members were poisoned, only brave Liam* succumbed to poison hip deep in a cold stream, while Dumbarton Oaks gently sung him to his sleep.
Rolando, meanwhile, had taken Kailan’s horse back to the keep to see if he could find anti-venom. Somewhere on the road, horse and rider vanished.
* the fact that Liam was at the back of the party has no bearing on his bravery.
Awards for sessions 8, 9, 10.
Dumbarton Oaks – 1550
Fletch – 725
Kailan – 1225
Liam – (dead)
Nyneva – 790
Rolando – (missing)
Rue – 525
Sondra – 425
May all your hits be crits!
We did a lot of shopping.
There was some to-do about a bow. I only got the gist of it but it was splendidly entertaining all the way through.
Oh! We have a new job. Seems a fellow disappeared with a cursed jewel. He’s to be detained and the jewel recovered. This is exactly the sort of opportunity I need to distinguish myself and establish a somewhat more significant reputation.
I’m a better-trained wizard now. I learned Sleep.
I do feel somewhat bad about the dwarf.
[Note to self: Buy more flour. And lots of lamp oil!]
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